Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Thoughts

So I've been absent from this place, for a while.  Its not that life is boring by any means, but I just haven't felt like there is anything worthy of posting about quite honestly! 

Summer has arrived and I am very excited about that fact!  I love, love it.  Braum's came out with 7 new flavors of ice cream recently, one of which is Grape sherbet.  It. is. delicious.  And a Grape Freeze?  Forget about it.  My new summer indulgence.  Then I figured out I can order in the Jr. size so I don't totally compromise my eating healthy plan I'm attempting. 

My sister and I started a boot camp sort of thing back in April.  Its circuit training style & we go at 530 am three days a week.  I feel like I should be down a couple sizes because it is pretty hard, but I can't tell a difference.  Maybe its because I don't live on grilled chicken & vegetables.  Sorry peeps, but I have to enjoy life a little bit!  I can't give up everything all the time.  I am all about moderation!  I am working out very regularly 4-5 days a week, so hopefully its doing good somewhere in my body! 

Eric is coming along with his masters' program at OSU, he will be done next May, so the end is in sight!!  He doesn't have a summer class this year (thank you Lord), because he chose to do a 3 wk, 3 hr course during May.  So it was very intense for 3 weeks but he finished that last Friday so we finally have more free time on our hands this summer, or he does anyway which means I won't be as bored :) 

As for what's going on in the baby department, our 5th IUI we had back in Feb failed, shocking!  So we have been saving for IVF since then.  We are planning to take the bull by the horns here because I can't sit around another year (its been 2.5 yrs) with ZERO results or answers.  And I will be 35 this year, so time is not on my side.  Right now we are thinking about doing it in Aug or later this fall, we have to work around Eric's travel schedule.  Our Dr. here in Tulsa kind of partners with a clinic in St. Louis- the Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine, or SIRM.  He has been friends with the Dr. there, Dr. Ahlering, for 25 years, and he & his wife had IVF done there, so he's been a patient as well.  Plus I have a couple of friends who have gone there also.  And I stalk the message boards and have been emailing with some others in Tulsa who are patients there now (and are pregnant), which has been helpful.

We had our initial free phone consult last week with Dr. Ahlering.  He talked to us for an hour & a half, which was awesome.  He is very passionate about his work and they are pretty high tech there, so we feel good about it.

I am still super nervous about going through it, all the meds, side effects, waiting, etc.  I just have to trust God has led us to this point for whatever reason, even if I don't understand why.  I'm hoping to at least get twins out of the deal so I will be DONE! :)  The timing isn't ours to decide, as much as I've tried to control it.  We've done everything we know to & can do.  I wasn't sure how I felt about IVF from a spiritual perspective, like its messing with nature, etc.  But then a friend said no matter how you get pregnant, that life & little miracle (now that I know all the detailed medical science & how much it takes for a healthy baby to happen-its a miracle!!) is from God, and He has blessed us with this technology & blessed the Dr's with the talent & knowledge.  So I feel better about it and am more calm.  And Eric feels very good about it & that this is what we're supposed to be doing.

I am just praying like heck right now that by some crazy miracle things will happen naturally and we won't have to do it :)  But if not, to be at peace that this is the right decision.  I'm getting close!  Its somewhat exciting that we have another option and we could be closer than ever to babies turning our world upside down :)  Which I gladly welcome! 

So if it occurs to you, any prayer in this dept for us is appreciated, and most of all that all will go well with no crazy, scary side effects. 

We may be in for a very memorable summer, which is scary but exciting at the same time!! :)